GREAT EATS HAWAII: HEART ATTACK GRILL

Saturday, October 19, 2013

HEART ATTACK GRILL

HEART ATTACK GRILL

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA

HEART ATTACK GRILL

450 FREMONT STREET

LAS VEGAS, NV 89101

HOURS: Monday thru Sunday 11:00 AM - 12:00 AM

NOTE: CASH ONLY. NO CREDIT CARDS

www.heartattackgrill.com

They say that laughter is the best medicine. If this is true I was cured of my ailments at the Heart Attack Grill. We laughed long and hard during our visit to this very unique restaurant. Probably one of the funnest meals of our lives. The evening began as we walked down Fremont Street and got pretty disgusted with the dead beats and drunks. We were heading for the end of Fremont so we could jump into a cab and go back to the Strip. I looked to my left and saw a huge sign that said "Over 350 Pounds Eats for Free". The lights went off in my head. This is the place that I have seen on the Food Channel many times and it was on my bucket list of places to visit. I did not know that the restaurant had moved to Las Vegas. I grabbed my buddies and said "this is destiny, we gotta go in for a burger". One friend said no thanks and the other said he was not hungry and did not want to waste time. I insisted and we all three walked in not really knowing what to expect. We were greeted by Nurse Priscilla and her huge smile. Table for 3 I said before my friends could escape. Our Nurse took the three of us aside and placed hospital wrist bands on us and then dressed us in hospital gowns. After being "checked into the hospital", we were escorted to a table in the middle of the restaurant. The place was less than half filled on a Friday night and filled mostly with people looking around and eating burgers. Nobody was really enjoying everything this place has to offer. Enter the Three Amigos and we decided to experience everything the Heart Attack Grill had to offer. Another Nurse that was absolutely into her job and the greatest waitress ever approached our table and began patting my friends head with a cloth as she took his pulse. She prescribed us to review the menu with her page by page. She described the burgers, shots and various drinks that could be prescribed while dining there. My friends went for shots of Patron Silver Tequila ($13.88) that were served in a 100cc prescription bottle complete with their name printed on it and directions. The directions read something like this. "Keep drinking until the fat girl at the end of the bar looks good". I opted for a small glass of wine as I am the responsible one in the group. My wine ($13.88) was served in a hospital IV bottle complete with rolling stand and dispenser. Between the shots in the prescription bottles and IV wine delivery we were laughing our heads off like three kids at Disneyland. I ordered a Single Bypass Burger ($8.33). This was a half pound burger with cheese, tomato, onion and chili. I requested lettuce and the Nurse told me that that would kill me. No lettuce on the premises. My one friend ordered the Triple Bypass ($12.03). Three huge beef patties with the works minus lettuce. Was too big to fit in his mouth but he worked it like an ice cream cone and put a pretty good dent in it. Don't finish your burger here and the punishment is a spanking in front of the entire restaurant. And they video tape your spanking so you can watch it on their website. I finished my Single Bypass and it was really good. My friend that did not finish his Triple Bypass was escorted by our Nurse to the Spanking Station and spanked hard repeatedly with a wooden board. More rolling laughter where we were literally falling out of our chairs. We tried the Flatliner Fries ($1.85). Nice slices of spuds cooked in pure lard. Not bad. A side order of 10 pieces of Bacon ($1.85) somehow landed on our table so we enjoyed a few pieces of lard soaked bacon which was really good. Now it was time to turn the party up so we ordered a 24 Ounce Old English 800 Malt Liquor ($4.63). Have not had one of these babies since after high school. The Old English was served in a brown paper bag with the words "Feeling Ghetto" printed on the bag. More rolling laughter when the beer arrived. To finish the evening my Triple Bypass friend ordered a Peniscillin Shot ($9.23). This is a combination of liquor and jello. Served up in a penis shaped syringe that is administered in a wave of laughter by your Nurse. Don't want to get graphic but the nurse took the syringe and stuck it in my friends mouth and injected. More side splitting laughter and the end to one of the funnest meals of my life. People can knock the Heart Attack Grill for being expensive or stupid but the guy who did all this is genius. You have to go into this place wanting to have fun and laugh at the experience. During our visit there were a few 350 pounders who happily jumped on the scale and then ate for free. As you walk past the bar on your way out, there is a container of ashes and a photo of a customer who dropped dead after eating here. It truly is the Heart Attack Grill!